<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Nobody (But You) by crispycrownkoala</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625609">Nobody (But You)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispycrownkoala/pseuds/crispycrownkoala'>crispycrownkoala</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the blessings of tighe [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, agentcorp endgame</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:07:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispycrownkoala/pseuds/crispycrownkoala</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>„Say that again. Slowly“, Lena demands. “Because I think your mind might have finally given up and broken down.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the blessings of tighe [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1284884</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>173</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nobody (But You)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've had this idea for ages, and now I've finally found one hour of free time and rushed this out. Thanks to my mother who came by to look after my daughter for a bit :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Lena had her memory erased – not all of it, but parts of it, the memory of a specific person or event in her life – she’s fairly confident that she would be able to put together the missing pieces rather quickly and reliably.</p>
<p>
She has a very detailed personal calendar, as well as a secretary slash assistant that she still trusts whole-heartedly despite all the betrayal in her life, which says a lot. Jess is a god-send, even on days Lena questions the existence of any deity, and if someone wiped her mind of her recollection of an event, there’s no way their combined forces wouldn’t produce an answer.
</p>
<p>
Now, wiping a whole person from her mind? Preposterous. She’s a Luthor, after all. Such a task would include wiping a lot of minds, and, since it’s highly unlikely that there has ever been a person associated with her that has not been caught on some kind of camera, scrubbing footage from security cameras, deleting files from investigators and removing evidence from newspapers, magazines and TMZ. 
</p>
<p>
But then, what if it wasn’t the whole person, just selected pieces of the person? What if someone made it so that she wouldn’t remember that Kara is Supergirl? Well, since she’s an official member of the Superfriends now, the others would let her in on the secret. But what if they all, for whatever reason, agreed that she had to forget? Lena wonders if there is any way that she would be able to tell. Any way that she’d realize there was something wrong, something missing, something different. 
</p>
<p>
Essentially, this is what happened to Alex, and Alex had been able to tell. Alex had been aware enough of herself and her closest friends and family to realize something was wrong. She hadn’t been able to fix it – yet – but at least she knew what was going on. Alex has been remarkably resilient through this whole ordeal. She has shown amazing strength in character. 
</p>
<p>
If it was Lena, would she be able to handle it as well as Alex had so far?
</p>
<p>
Or would she crack under the pressure?
</p>
<p>
This is the real question: had Alex cracked under the pressure?
</p>
<p>
„Say that again. Slowly“, Lena demands. “Because I think your mind might have finally given up and broken down.” </p>
<p>
Alex sighs, her eyes cast downward. „I didn’t want this to happen. It just…did.“	 </p>
<p>
„It just did“, Lena repeats flatly. </p>
<p>
Alex sighs again, a touch of impatience swinging with it. „We never wanted to hurt you.“ </p>
<p>
Lena laughs, sharp and quick. „We? You’re referring to yourself and Kelly as a unit when you and I talked about spending the rest of our lives together?“  </p>
<p>
Alex flinches. „As I said, I didn’t mean for this to happen. She’s just so…“ </p>
<p>
„So what?“, Lena asks despite herself. </p>
<p>
„Beautiful“, Alex finishes. </p>
<p>
Lena shakes her head, takes a deep breath. „I don’t believe you.“ </p>
<p>
„Lena, I know this must be incredibly difficult for you, but-“ </p>
<p>
„No, I mean I truly don’t believe you. I don’t believe this.“ </p>
<p>
„You have to“, Alex replies. „Because it’s what happened. I’m very sorry it did, but I also can’t lie to you about it.“ </p>
<p>
„Okay then, tell me what happened.“ </p>
<p>
„I already did. Do you really want to do this to yourself?“ </p>
<p>
„I want details. Now.“ </p>
<p>
„Lena…“ </p>
<p>
„Now.“ </p>
<p>
„Well, we met up like discussed. To talk about using VR to get my memories back. We had dinner. And she was just- she was so understanding about everything. Here I was, asking for her help, but at the same time telling her she wasn’t allowed to know any details. And she didn’t push. She was just supportive, and funny. With her, I didn’t feel any baggage. I felt light. I felt…free.” </p>
<p>
And those words hurt as though someone designed them to, which is exactly why Lena can’t believe – doesn’t allow herself to believe – that this conversation is really happening. Alex wouldn’t do this. Her Alex would never do this to her. </p>
<p>
Would she? </p>
<p>
„And let me get this right, she was supportive and beautiful, so you couldn’t help but fuck her?“ </p>
<p>
„I did sleep with her, yes“, Alex says, ignoring her crass wording. „How many times do you want me to say it?“ </p>
<p>
“As many times as it takes for me to believe it. You just threw our whole relationship away to screw James’ sister? And you’re planning on doing it again?“ </p>
<p>
„I fell in love with her, Lena, and I-“ </p>
<p>
„You fell in love with her? You’ve know her for two weeks, spent one evening with her! This is all wrong.” </p>
<p>
„I’m sorry that you feel that way, but-” </p>
<p>
„This isn’t happening”, Lena insists. She can believe a lot of bad things about a lot of bad people. Trust comes very, very hard to her. But she just can’t wrap her mind around what Alex is telling her. </p>
<p> 
She pinches herself, just to make sure she really isn’t dreaming – suffering from a nightmare – and Alex gives her a look full of pity. </p>
<p>
„What about all your promises?“, Lena asks. </p>
<p>
„I shouldn’t have made them“, Alex replies. „I should know better than to make a promise I’m not sure I can’t keep.“ </p>
<p>
This, again, doesn’t sound like Alex at all. And even if Alex did fall in love with someone else, she wouldn’t handle it like this. She wouldn’t cheat. </p>
<p>
“Give me your hand“, Lena demands. </p>
<p>
„Why?“, Alex asks, stretching out her arm. </p>
<p>
“I need some blood. Just a few drops will do.” </p>
<p>
Alex snatches her hand back, a bewildered look on her face. „What the hell, Lena?“ </p>
<p>
„I want a drug test. I will take my own blood as well. I’m not dreaming, but maybe one of us is suffering from delusions, or maybe you’re high, or-” </p>
<p>
„I talked to Kara about this“, Alex interrupts. „You can ask her.“ </p>
<p>
That is, in fact, something she can do. It doesn’t mean that the blood test is ruled out, but talking to Kara can be a first step. She has her best friend on speed dial, so it takes no time at all to call her and even less for her to pick up. </p>
<p>
„Lena hi“, she greets, and to Lena she sounds carefully neutral. </p>
<p>
„Alex talked to me.” </p>
<p>
„She did?“ </p>
<p>
„She said you know. That she cheated. That she’s breaking up with me. That she wants to be with Kelly.” Lena is very proud of herself for keeping it together, for being able to say these horrible things a not have her voice break. </p>
<p>
„I know it must come as a shock to you“, Kara says. „I’m here for you if you want to talk, always.“ </p>
<p>
Lena swallows. „You don’t think this is strange? Or sudden? Or completely out of character?“ </p>
<p>
„It’s not my place“, Kara sighs. „I just want Alex to be happy.“ </p>
<p>
„She was happy“, Lena insists. „With me. And now suddenly she’s not?“ </p>
<p>
Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Alex roll her eyes. </p>
<p>
Who the hell is this person? This isn’t Alex. This can’t be Alex. </p>
<p>
„Okay“ Lena says, hanging up on Kara who was in the middle of saying something that was probably irrelevant anyway. „I have a question.“ </p>
<p>
Alex nods, gesturing at her to continue. </p>
<p>
„What was I wearing on your third night sleeping over?“ </p>
<p>
Alex scoffs. „Are you seriously checking if I am an imposter right now?“ </p>
<p>
„What was I wearing?“ </p>
<p>
„What, you think that I’m a doppelganger? Or maybe a White Martian? Maybe I’m mind-controlled?” </p>
<p>
„If you can’t answer the question-“ </p>
<p>
„Nothing“, Alex interrupts. „You had the doorman let me in and texted me to come straight to your bathroom. You were waiting for me naked, and we spent a very nice hour in your bathtub, which is honestly more of a swimming pool, no matter how much you pretend otherwise.“ </p>
<p>
„That’s what you said. That night.“ </p>
<p>
„Yes. I haven’t forgotten“, Alex says softly. „Look, Lena, you can try to explain this away any way you want, but it doesn’t change the truth. It’s me, Alex. And I’m in my right mind. I’m not drugged or impersonated of having a mental breakdown. I’m not lying to you, no matter how much you wish I was. I fell in love with Kelly and out of love with you, and I’m leaving you to be with her. I should have ended it with you before getting involved with her, and I‘m very sorry I hurt you like this. But it’s done now, and I can‘t take it back.“ </p>
<p>
The words should crush her, and if she allowed them to, they would. But Lena knows deep in her heart that there’s something seriously wrong, that this is not really happening. Or if it is, someone is helping it along. Yes, in theory Alex could find love with someone else and leave her for them. But everything Alex has said so far has sounded wrong. Cheating? Alex Danvers? No way. Falling in love with Kelly in such a short time? Maybe. But suddenly falling out of love with Lena, and telling her that in such a direct, unapologetic way? Not a chance in hell. </p>
<p>
„No you can’t“, she finally agrees. „I just don’t understand. You and Kelly were friends, yes, but I never saw any indication that you might…“ </p>
<p>
„She has a brilliant mind, just like you. What she’s doing with the VR tech is-“ </p>
<p>
Oh, for the love of… </p>
<p>
„The VR tech! Of course!“ </p>
<p>
„What about it?“ </p>
<p>
„I can’t believe it took me so long. I can’t believe I almost fell for it!“ </p>
<p>
Alex frowns, and the way she takes a step closer to Lena suddenly feels dangerous. „Fell for what? I told you, this is not a joke.“ </p>
<p>
„No, it’s a game. And I’m winning.“ </p>
<p>
„Lena-“ </p>
<p>
“Shut up”, Lena says. And then, determination steeling her voice: „End simulation.“ </p>
<p>
The very first thing she sees is Alex – her Alex – sprawled on the floor. She’s motionless, and Lena can’t make out if she is dead or unconscious. Although she’s probably just knocked out, knowing her brother, who is the second person she sees. If he killed Alex, he would want her to watch. Ripping the VR glasses from her face, she takes in the rest of the room. </p>
<p>
It’s her office, which must mean that Jess is either dead or held captive. Alex and Lex are the only ones with her, the latter grinning at her wickedly, swirling a glass of amber liquid in his hand. </p>
<p>
„Almost got you.“ </p>
<p>
„Hardly.“ </p>
<p>
He shrugs. „I’ll admit I was somewhat impressed by your faith in our dear Director Danvers.“ </p>
<p>
„Is she okay?” </p>
<p>
„She’ll live. Well, for the next few minutes, anyway. After that, I hadn’t planned for her to be around.“ </p>
<p>
Lena nods wordlessly, taking a bit of satisfaction out of the fact that she wasn’t only able to resist her own demons and keep her faith in Alex, but also correctly assess her brother’s intentions. </p>
<p>
„What’s your goal here?“, she asks when nothing further is coming from Lex. </p>
<p>
“Well, I was just going have a little fun with you and your paramour before taking my leave for a while. I have some business to attend to. Think of this as my way of saying goodbye.” </p>
<p>
“You mean hurting me emotionally with your little VR trick, then killing my girlfriend and breaking my heart even more?” </p>
<p>
“Something like that”, Lex agrees. “It hasn’t been as fun as I had anticipated, but it will do.” </p>
<p>
“Bastard.” </p>
<p>
Despite the dire situation, Lena has to stifle a grin. It wasn’t her that spoke, but her wonderfully resilient girlfriend, who can’t help but antagonize the enemy even she’s too weak to get up from the ground. </p>
<p>
“You okay, babe?”, Alex asks. </p>
<p>
“I’m fine, love. More worried about you.”  </p>
<p>
“Eh”, Alex grunts. “What’s a little bleeding? Although you could do your drug test now, if you wanted.” </p>
<p>
Off Lena’s startled look, she explains. “He narrated it for me. I appreciate the trust, babe. When we get out of here, I’ll show you just how much.” </p>
<p>
“Spare me”, Lex says. “Is this what you want your last words to be?” </p>
<p>
“More sipping, less talking”, Alex drawls at him. “He found your very special private stash”, she says to Lena. </p>
<p>
Very interesting. “Did he now?”  </p>
<p>
“I might have threatened his life if he touched it. So of course he did”, Alex grins. </p>
<p>
Lena wants to kiss her right then and there. Her wonderfully resourceful girlfriend. “How long was I in the simulation?” </p>
<p>
“Twenty minutes, thirty-three seconds.” </p>
<p>
“And how long have we been talking now?” </p>
<p>
“Two minutes, sixteen seconds.”  </p>
<p>Perfect. It wouldn't take much longer, then.</p>
<p>“Enough”, Lex yells. “Stop talking nonsense. Alex is going to die now, and you, Lena, are going to watch.”</p>
<p>
“Why do you think Supergirl hasn’t stopped you?” Lena asks. </p>
<p>
“Your precious Supergirl doesn’t know that I am here”, Lex gloats.” </p>
<p>
“Doesn’t she?”, Alex asks casually. “Cause I’ve got a way of contacting her, and I haven’t used it. Why’s that?” </p>
<p>
“You shut your mouth, right now”, Lex yells, but suddenly he seems unsteady on his feet. </p>
<p>
“You could call her now”, Lena suggests. “Im sure she would like to see this.” </p>
<p>
“What have you done?”, Lex slurs, dropping to the floor. </p>
<p>
“The better question is, what have YOU done?”, Alex asks. “I told you not to drink from her private stash.” </p>
<p>
“It’s poisoned”, Lex realizes with a groan. </p>
<p>
“Don’t worry, you’re not going to die”, Lena grins, kicking his slumped body with her foot. “This is for torturing me emotionally.” Another kick. “This is for hurting Alex.” </p>
<p>
“What’s going on here?”, she hears a bewildered voice behind her. </p>
<p>
“Hey Kar”, Alex greets. “Let Lena vent a bit. Help me up? Then you can get Lex back to prison.” </p>
<p>
“You guys could have called for help”, Kara says. </p>
<p>
“Didn’t need it”, Alex and Lena say in unison. And then, smiling, and still perfectly in sync with each other: “I love you.” </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>